Nowhere to Go, Nowhere to Be
by MSCIBET
Summary: Set between seasons 2 and 3. The Hamptons doesn't go exactly like Castle had anticipated and he leaves. Trying to escape his demons, he tries something new and learns more than he ever expected. you will need a little suspension of disbelief Just some end of the summer angsty fluffiness. Is that possible? 5 or so chap.
1. Way Down Here

_Title: Nowhere to Go, Nowhere to Be_

_Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of ABC. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of Castle. No copyright infringement is intended._

_A/N - So here goes the last story for awhile. Now it will have to take some suspension of disbelief but it's mainly supposed to be some fluffy 'what if' inspired by my favorite summertime musical artist. Bonus points for the person who knows. This will be updated all weekend and finished sometime next week. _

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Chapter 1 – Way Down Here

_Gina,_

_Here is the rest of the novel. Please make sure to lock up the house, all doors, before leaving. Everything else is secure. Please don't call. I'm fine._

_Rick _

Gina picked up the letter that he had hand written and then the massive stack of papers that were neatly tied together with kite string. She flipped and saw the nearly 400 pages of manuscript typed completely finished, including the dedication. She licked her lips in frustration. She expected a lot of immature things from Richard Castle, but this was unprecedented. She set the manuscript and note back down and started walking through the house.

They had been there for four weeks. She hadn't seen Castle type two words the entire she had been there. From the third night that they were there, he had insisted in sleeping in a different room from her. Apparently the connection that they had made in the spring was a short-lived one. She hadn't expected things to go back to normal and she knew that she probably bugged him more than a typical girlfriend would but he worked for her…with her…something. She had gotten over trying to define what was exactly going on between them.

In the few times the last month that they were together, he was civil during the day. They had picnicked on the beach together, gone sailing a couple of times with old friends from down the beach and shared at least one good night with dinner and wine before he kissed her goodnight and shut the guest room door. She had been busy the last week she admitted to herself, going into New York for a few days for other business. She couldn't just vacation for an entire summer even if it was on his dime.

She peered into the guest room and looked through the bathroom and closet seeing the shelves, closet, and vanity empty of any kind of sign of his ever being there. Clothes from their trip were gone as well as the extras he had brought with him, games, books to read. She went into the other rooms, including the master that he let her stay in and still saw no evidence of his return. Frustrated, she dialed his phone and got his voicemail.

"Call me Rick. Let's talk." She hung up not knowing exactly what else to say. She didn't think that they had left the situation so dire. She tucked the phone into her back pocket and then pulled it out again. Looking at it, she really didn't want to talk to his mother or daughter, neither cared anything for her. Stopping momentarily she thought silently. Gritting her teeth, there was only one more option.

XXXXXXXXXXX

Kate Beckett entered the homicide floor of the 12th precinct not quite as early as she normally did. With no early morning murder call, she appreciated the extra few hours of uninterrupted sleep. She sat her own coffee down on the desk and took a double take at the cup. She hadn't really realized how much she missed him until he had left, especially not having coffee that first morning that she arrived on a case without her caffeine fix. Since then, she had forced herself to get her own before coming to work because starting up the cappuccino machine was just too mentally painful.

She sat down at her desk and turned on her computer just as Esposito and Ryan came around the corner. "Hey Beckett, you got a woman in the interview room waiting for you."

Beckett glanced up and looked at the two quizzically before pushing away from the desk and entering the interview. She stopped with her handle on the door trying to swallow the sick feeling that came over her as she entered. She gained her masked composure and closed the door behind her. "Gina?"

Gina stood up from the couch, setting the stack of papers on the table between them and smiled at Beckett. "Detective Beckett, I was wondering where Rick was?"

Beckett looked at the woman dressed in a skintight pencil skirt and free flowing blouse with confusion. Putting her hands on her hips, she furrowed her brow before arching an eyebrow at the question. "He's not here Gina. I thought he was with you in the Hamptons all summer. He hasn't even called here."

Gina plopped back into the couch somewhat disappointed. "I just figured you would be the one that would know. I mean he found his inspiration to finish this purely because of you." Gina handed the first couple of pages to Beckett and let her read the dedication of the latest book that she inspired. Reading the dedication, Beckett became inwardly sad and touched at the same time. She stared a moment longer wishing that she had actually been able to go. She should have just told him then.

"Yeah, and he left this," Gina showed the handwritten note to Beckett. Beckett read it quickly and handed it back, feeling a pang of guilt in the way he wrote 'fine.' Castle was rarely 'fine.' He was either visibly upset or giddy as a schoolgirl but never just 'fine.' That always meant more.

"Sorry, I can't help you. How about Martha or Alexis?"

Gina stood up and turned her cheek to Beckett, somewhat aghast. How did Beckett get to know them well enough to have a first name basis? She had been married to the man and hadn't been given the right by him or them.

"They don't really care for me." Gina picked up the manuscript off the table where Beckett had laid it down. Glancing up at Beckett again as Beckett held the door open for her, she said, "Thank you anyway. If you see him or hear from him, tell him to call me…about the manuscript."

Beckett nodded silently as the woman's heels clicked all the way down to the elevator. Everyone watched as the woman got on the elevator and slightly waved back at them before the door closed. Beckett walked back over to her desk and sat down, staring blankly at the screen.

"So what did the ex-Castle want?" Ryan asked as innocently as possible.

"She wanted to know where he was. I told her I didn't know, which I don't." Beckett emphasized the last part and glared at the two men as they quietly turned back around.

She sat at the desk and tried to concentrate on work. She watched as the boys left after a couple of hours for lunch. Beckett pulled out her phone and quickly shot off a text.

_Castle, where are you? Are you ok?_

She knew that he would understand if he would only answer. She only had one other option. She dialed another number and listened to the phone ring endlessly before the machine at the loft picked up. She never imagined that she would want either Alexis' or Martha's numbers. She could easily look them up, but thought maybe he really did just want space. Putting her phone away, she gnawed on her fingertips wondering where he had gone and even more why she cared.

Esposito punched Ryan in the arm as they rounded the hallway in the precinct, out of Beckett's sight. "I got something. Now if you tell Beckett I'm going to kill you." Ryan just nodded and took the paper from Esposito.

After taking it, Ryan eyed the charges on the credit card and then glared at Esposito. "You're going to kill me? You know what she'll do if she finds out that you pried into his personal business. I wouldn't be surprised if he came after you. This is our friend."

"Yeah, and when Beckett comes out looking that concerned even if she's trying to mask it, I get concerned about my friends. Now that I know everything is ok, then we can just get back to watching Beckett wallow." Esposito walked over to one of the offices and located the closest shredder. Folding the paper in half, he listened and waited until he saw the entire paper come out in small little squares.

XXXXXXXXXXXX

"Mr. Castle." Castle had his mouth just slight and his eyes closed, finally sleeping after several nights of staying up and sleeping all day. He felt his body shake and opened his eyes to the skinny, blonde flight attendant. "We'll be landing in about 15 minutes. I need you to bring your seat back up sir." With a gentle grin, he let the woman lean over and pull the seat back up while he gazed out the window. This wasn't where he expected to be.

As he picked up his bags, he looked from side to side as people shuffled through the airport and quietly listened. Closing his eyes, it had been a long while since he had heard neither police sirens or his name being called for an autograph. It was nice finally being nobody. He wondered if this had been what he needed all along. Taking a calming deep breath, he moved toward the doors and spotted a man holding up a dry erase board with his name.

"I'm Richard Castle," he answered as the man introduced himself as Harry and took his bags from him. Castle glared and quickly pulled out his sunglasses when the sun hit him head on. Harry pointed at the car parked right in front as Castle tipped the man standing next to car, apparently keeping it from being towed. The driver didn't make much conversation but handed Castle a packet of information and he flipped through it.

"If you have any questions, you just call that number there. I or Marna will assist you. I will pick you up day after tomorrow for your rental. You have it for one month, yes?

"Yes," Castle said as he glanced at the pictures before putting the packet down and gazing out the window. It had been a long time since he saw that color blue. "And the guide?"

"He will meet us there. You will have him overnight and then drop him before taking on your own. Check in with him once a week for a supply run and call us if you need to make any arrangements for hotel or dining out. Are you going to be alone sir?"

Castle propped his arm up against the side of the door and stared out along the water and sand. "Yeah," he stated quietly.

A half an hour later Harry stopped the car in front of a private villa on the south side of Tortola. He opened the door and handed Castle the keys. After giving the tour of the three bedroom house that overlooked that bay, Harry shook hands with Castle and closed the door as he left.

Standing in the living room of the villa Castle could see the clear turquoise water from every window. He pushed through the double doors after throwing his jacket on the couch. Sitting down in the chair on the veranda, he watched the sun start going down over the endless horizon. He leaned back in the chair completely and sighed. Maybe the end of the world he could forget.

_tbc_


	2. Spirit of the Storm

_A/N - YAY! Good review start! Thanks! Now just some info you might like to picture where and what to picture. Tortola is one of the islands in the Virgin Islands. And you may want to pull up a picture of an Azimut 39. Thanks for reading! _

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Chapter 2 – Spirit of the Storm

Beckett sat and stared at her phone for another long moment. From the moment she had walked into her apartment, the feeling wouldn't leave her. She had been almost attacked by the woman that Castle has chosen over her. What did Kate really think? Gina wasn't chosen over her, Kate had pushed Castle down that road and now felt more than guilty by it. The whole situation was strange. "Crap, just do it," Kate told herself as she dialed the number she looked up earlier.

"Could I speak to Martha Rogers please?" She said in the calmest tone possible.

"This is she. Is this Kate Beckett?"

"Yes ma'am. How are you doing?" Kate tried for small talk, a little surprised that the older woman on the phone was able to pick her out of think air.

"Excellent. I guess you are calling about Richard. Gina, the blonde slavedriver, called me about an hour ago and was wondering where my son went off to. He finished the book and then left."

"Yeah, I think she came to see me first."

Martha huffed into the phone. "That woman cannot deal with things not always being about her. Anyway, Richard is not in town or the Hamptons. I've called but haven't gotten an answer. Kate, don't tell Gina, but when he gets like this, he just needs to be left alone. It was the same after both divorces. He'll come around, probably in time to see you back at the station in the fall."

Kate listened carefully to the whole conversation and silently nodded. She felt a pang of guilt. He was treating whatever he was running away from like his divorces and Kate felt it was her he was running from. "Thanks Martha. I was just concerned."

"He'll bounce back honey. He's never able to pull off the brooding adult that long." Martha said her goodbyes and hung up as Kate continued to think about Castle actually brooding. He was a nine year old in an adult body. Nine year olds pouted.

Kate dropped the phone on the table and headed into her bedroom. It had been a long, dull day without a body drop. Another long day without any comic relief and more and more, she missed it.

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

"So as you can see, I think we'll be in good shape for some excellent waters over the next month barring any pop up hurricanes. Rain is fine, a little rocking on the surface but you can always anchor close to a shore and go underneath during the storm. It's when the forecast is for over 10 foot swells in navigable waters that I would tie up somewhere." The skipper explained as he walked Castle through the weather radio and other instruments on the boat.

He had tried the weekend at the beach house but had felt sadder and more alone as he sat on the lanai overlooking the water. He wanted to be out there and not just to scuba dive. Finally after two days of overly quiet peace in the secluded and well-stated villa, Harry drove him to the docks for the second part of the journey.

Castle had ridden on and driven boats before. He rented one almost every time they were in the Hamptons, including with Gina just a couple of weeks earlier. The smaller ski boats to take out on the water and do just that, ski. But this was different. As the skipper, John, had walked him around the boat, Castle was sure that he was going to get lost at one time or another.

The powerboat was a 42 foot slick looking vessel. He had two cabin rooms of a double bed and twins and a full kitchen that his travel group had already stocked with everything. Castle continued to follow John around the yacht, taking notes on every detail. John was there for 48 hours. Castle almost cringed knowing that he had 48 hours to learn everything he knew about the yacht and the waters before spending the next month on his own.

"So shall we head to the first destination? I mapped out a line to take us around the north side of the island. We'll spend a few days letting you get used to the navigation and the steering. You have a night on Guana Island booked when we get there and then you'll drop me at the North Sound Dock." John explained as Castle continued writing notes to himself. The man then tucked the charts in their waterproof pocket and started up the engines.

Castle could smell the diesel and had been told of the extra tanks and exactly how much distance he had in between stops to make sure he wasn't treading water and need a tow. As John put the boat in reverse, he stepped out of the way and put Castle behind the wheel. Castle took a deep breath as he looked behind him at the stretch of the boat. "Now, first thing to learn, how to get out of the port," John stated with a smile as the boat's plastic buoys scraped against the side of the pier.

XXXXXXXXXXX

"NYPD! Show us your hands!" Kate yelled as the boys backed her up from behind. The suspect that they had cornered reached for pant leg. "GUN!" The three started yelling at the man all at one time as all three had their weapons raised to the man.

Kate knew how this looked. The man pulled the small handgun as all three detectives stood at the ready. He knew he was caught but couldn't see himself rotting away in prison somewhere for the two murders that he committed. He just let his emotions get the best of him and he shot his girlfriend and the one she was cheating with. People enacted revenge all the time, but he wasn't a professional. He had been in love. Raising the gun to his head, all he heard was three people scream out, "NO!"

XXXXXXXXXX

Kate sat in the precinct interview room and tapped her fingernails on the coffee cup that was now empty. She was the next detective in the box. The three had been chasing the guy for a week, trying to find the man that had killed out of anger and love. She rolled her eyes at what the man considered had been his only solution. Pressing her fingers to her forehead, she still couldn't get the image out of her head. The only one that was dealing with the issue was Esposito, the soldier. He knew the meaning of PTSD.

It wasn't Beckett's first suspect suicide, but her other instances had never been performed right in front of her. She leaned back in the couch and looked at her phone. Ryan must have been taking it real hard, his time was running over. She then went back over the messages that she had received in the last week and saw nothing. Nothing from Castle. She had tried to call, but still went to voicemail. After leaving the first message a couple of nights earlier, she had decided to let it go. He obviously was not talking to anyone.

"Detective Beckett?" The psychiatrist asked as he opened the door and sat down in the chair across from her. Beckett nodded silently as she tucked her phone back into her pocket. The man looked over a few notes and then back up at her. "So, tell me how you are feeling?" Rolling her eyes, she knew that it was about to be a long day.

XXXXXXXXXXX

Castle had decided he was definitely missing something with the beach house in the Hamptons. It was water he could see clear to the bottom of the ocean floor. He marveled seeing the fish as they swam by the anchored boat and not even needing to scuba to watch.

He had been on the water now for a week, on his own for five days. He had found that his only challenge was still backing out of a slip at the marinas. Otherwise, he felt calm. He leaned over the bow and watched as somewhere, many feet below in the clear water went a sea turtle. He leaned back on the outside deck and picked up the laptop and continued typing. He hadn't planned on the strange spark of inspiration but it hit him the night before. An Old Man and the Sea of sorts. He hadn't decided if he even would let Gina see it. It was just something for himself at the moment.

He glanced up from the writing and watched the end of two poles that he had bought on a stop in Beef Island. One wiggled and over the past week he had gotten better in his fishing skills. He figured he better improve before starving or turning the boat around toward a more populous location.

He slid the laptop off his lap and threw a towel over it just in case. Standing up next to the pole he waited until the pole took another large bend and snatched it up. A few minutes of a struggle and the fish was flopping against the side of the deck. Castle put his foot on the body and pulled the line out its mouth before dumping it into the live well along with the other two from earlier. Yellow fin snapper was the catch of the day. It had been a good day so far.

The next morning Castle groaned as he pulled himself out of the cabin bed, poured himself a coffee, and hit the deck. The day was a little cloudier than the day before but still just as beautiful. He noticed that he had drifted a little closer to one of the islands and had mapped out where he was heading for the next week.

He glanced at his phone. He had turned it off for the last week and found that he kind of liked it. He knew his mother would understand, Alexis would worry and Beckett…Beckett was with someone else. He waited for the service to pop on and sighed in relief that he had one bar, enough.

He waited until the number of missed calls and messages came up. He quickly ignored and deleted the ones from Gina. She was the last person he wanted to talk to. He wasn't quite sure why she cared; she had her book. Then his mother. He would call her back when he got to somewhere with real service. Alexis was worried but the next message said that grams had talked to her. Good girl.

He stopped. Kate had called his mother asking about him. He switched to the text messages and saw her message. He blinked at the message. It was one message from a week ago and nothing since. Turning the phone off, he chalked up her message to the craziness of his mother and Gina probably looking for him.

He looked down at his choice of morning attire. Running down under, he threw on a pair of cut off cargo pants. Between sunscreen and the sun, he opted out of the shirt. The tan was starting to look nice. Grabbing a ball cap and sunglasses he had bought with the fishing stuff, he headed back up and pulled the anchor until the super heavy weight came above water. Immediately feeling the drift of the boat, he started the engines. Onto the south side.

XXXXXXXXXXXX

Another week had passed at the precinct and the three detectives were finding it hard to waste so much time. The murder rate in the middle of the summer plummeted when the heat hit. Normally July was busier but the three sat and exchanged turns flipping paper clips into cups for penny ante.

"So you going anywhere for vacation?" Esposito asked as the two other took their turns.

"I'm taking Jenny up to Maine for the weekend. Some little bed and breakfast that she wanted to go to. We're leaving after work, stopping somewhere and I'll be back on Wednesday." Ryan actually stopped and smiled at the thought. He glanced over and saw Esposito and Beckett actually in a full grin.

"Good for you bro. Me, I got some paintball action with a couple of guys on Saturday if nothing drops."

The two looked over at Kate as she was biting her nails and concentrating on the cup. She glanced up and shook her head. "Nope, just me. You two go off and have your fun, I'll hold down the fort." The two felt the offhanded remark as a way for them to be quiet and went back to their game.

"Kate Beckett?" Beckett waved at the messenger to come over. He handed her a pen and a clipboard. "Just sign here." Beckett signed and thanked the young man as he left.

The boys stopped the game and leaned over as she ripped the top of the envelope off. She pulled the smaller envelope out and then the paper out of it. Beckett leaned back in the chair and could barely speak. She knew that scrawl. "It's a plane ticket to St. Thomas in two days and a note to bring a passport."


	3. In This Boat Alone

Chapter 3 – In This Boat Alone

Castle looked around the deck of the boat and scrubbed a few of the places that had caked up with saltwater in the last few weeks. He hadn't planned on the backtracking stopover but he hadn't expected his sudden change of plans until the last couple of days. He glanced down the pier and checked his watch. He'd leave in six hours with or without her.

"Richard, how's it going?" The man, Charlie, who owned the slip next to his leaned out of the porthole.

"It's going good. I got some of that beer you were asking about. Come on over in a few and have one with me." Castle smiled as he started to drain the live well to clean. Harry had someone deliver another week of supplies the night before and Castle figured he could go a few nights without having to fish.

As he checked the gauges and fluids in the engine, he waved Charlie over to his boat. "You having trouble?"

"Nah, just making sure I don't. I've got a decent handle on it now but I'm not good with surprises when I'm not the expert." Charlie nodded in agreement. The man was what Castle would describe as scruffy. He was a retired accountant that sold everything off in Boston and moved to St. Thomas, bought a boat, and sits in port most of the time. Castle had figured a way to weave him into his strange tale last night and had spent several hours writing, drunk. Boy, Charlie could drink.

Castle handed him a beer from the collection of his supplies and sat back in the seat across from Charlie. "So what has you docked? I thought you were going out today?"

Castle looked down the pier again before out to the water. "Later, wait until I lose the buzz I still have from last night. Your friends really can drink. Anyway, I'm waiting on someone."

Charlie watched as Castle looked out on the water. He sat silent tearing the label of the beer off the bottle and could see the strange glaze over on Castle's face. "You know there's a saying 'The cure for all that ails a man is saltwater-in the form of sweat, tears or the sea.' My man, you have been to sea, and I've seen you've sweat the last couple of days. Am I expecting tears now?"

Castle took another swig of his beer and glanced over at Charlie. "I've had my fair share of those too already."

Charlie stood up and clinked his beer to Castle's bottle before starting up the set of steps out of the boat. "Whatever you're waiting on, I hope it's worth it because you're losing a beautiful day." Charlie held up the beer before chugging the last portion and throwing the bottle in the garbage. Castle watched the man make his way off the pier and walk into town. Castle shook his head; the man was something like he had never met before.

XXXXXXXXXXX

Kate stared out the window nervously, picking at her fingers and trying to not tap the seat in front of her. All she could see was water and dots of land for miles as the plane was dipping down into its descent. She bit her lip and closed her eyes as it started to land. She had always hated flying but alone was worse.

She thought back to the night before as Lanie appeared at her door after talking to Esposito. Lanie flew through Kate's closet grabbing every sundress, tube top, shorts, and bikinis that she could find and dumped them into the luggage that Beckett had only been able to pull from the closet. She had no idea what she was doing once the boys talked Montgomery into giving her at least two weeks off.

He had sent her home once Ryan had explained the whole story. Lanie had come up to the precinct and explained to Kate what was going to happen. "He asked you twice to the Hamptons, then you got the guts and he showed up with Gina after you let Demming go. So don't you dare try to outthink this. You're going." And that had been that.

She thanked the crew and retrieved her bags. As she glanced around at the public meeting area, her eyes fell. He wasn't even there. Starting to breathe heavier with nervousness, she felt out of place and lost. What was she doing she thought to herself. She gritted her teeth and then saw her name on a board. "I'm Kate Beckett."

The man just smiled and introduced himself as Harry. He stayed quiet most of the trip even when Kate asked him questions about where they were going. "You have good weather for your time here; the boat will probably be able to go out today just for a short trip."

Kate curled her face in confusion. The boat, she thought questioningly. She watched as the airport disappeared behind her and the roads became more cluttered with downtown shops and restaurants. Beckett sat silently as she watched the car never veer far from the crystal blue water. She could already feel her body relaxing even though she felt emotionally tense.

She saw the car slow. Harry opened her door and then pulled her things from the trunk. "You'll need to turn to the right when the pier splits off." Before Beckett could get another word in, Harry was back in the car and she stood in the middle of the parking lot.

"Here's goes nothing," she said to herself as she picked up her bags off the asphalt. She got to the split in the pier and turned toward the right. Glancing at the boats, she was in awe. They were yachts, some were yachts with sails. She looked up and then saw it. In leather slip-ons, cutoffs and an open button-down, he stood next to one of the smaller boats in the harbor.

She stood just feet away from him but couldn't seem to move the last few feet. Castle closed the space and took a bag from her hand before breaking into his signature grin. "Thanks for coming."

Beckett felt his other hand touch hers and slightly tug her in the direction of the boat. "Wait, this is where you've been?"

Castle looked back over his shoulder before dropping her bag in a chair and holding out his hand to help her down the stairs. "Not exactly. I've been around Tortola and out to some of the islands, but this was the closest big airport. We'll make our way tomorrow."

Beckett was amazed. "You've been boating alone all this time. Do you realize how unsafe that is?"

Castle shook his head and laughed at her. "Turn off cop mode for a couple of weeks. The guy, Harry, I have to file my plans with him each week. He knows exactly what coordinates I'm going to each day." Castle started down under the main part of the boat after removing his sunglasses. "Come on, I'll show you around."

Beckett was more and more impressed, and slowly relaxing into her surroundings. Silently she was convincing herself that she could do this for two weeks.

XXXXXXXXXXXX

Beckett had to admit to herself that Castle had really outdone himself. As she had freshened up, he whipped up a dinner unlike anything she had ever had. Fresh vegetables and some fish that was topped with a fruity glaze. Later she learned that even the fish was fresh, fresh from his line to the freezer. She shook her head in amazement that he had learned to adapt so well. She secretly was getting concerned that she would end up never wanting to leave.

"A drink?" Castle said as he snuck up behind her on the deck of the boat, handing her a plastic flute of something blue colored. "To relax you." He watched as she tried the colored concoction and nodded approvingly.

"Castle, this is all wonderful." She took his outstretched hand and lowered herself to the couch seat that took most of the top deck up. She leaned her head back into his shoulder and closed her eyes. "I'm glad I came."

Castle put his arm around her carefully and waited for her to pull away from him. She glanced up at him and still saw he had his sunglasses on. Castle loved the look from her, but hated having to know the next answer. "So, how did Demming take it you coming out here?"

Kate sat up and turned to him. Her expression tensed and Castle removed his arm from behind her. "He doesn't know." Kate saw Castle physically pull away before she placed a hand on his thigh and he froze in shock.

He was already shaking his head. "Kate…"

Beckett's face broke into a small smile followed by her biting her lip nervously. She turned more to face him, curling her legs up underneath her. "I didn't think he would care when I broke up with him the day you left for the Hamptons. That's what I really meant to tell you that day."

Castle cringed figuring out how stupid he had been for the last month, feeling as they had lost the last six weeks. As his mouth opened, Kate covered it with a finger and smiled. "It's in the past." She let her hand slide down his chest and watched Castle's eyes close as he let out a small moan. She scooted back into him and intertwined her fingers in his. "Open your eyes, the sunset's amazing."

"I've seen a few, but you're right. It's extraordinary," he paused and saw her turn to him with a glint of understanding. It was one of their words. He saw her eyes soften and he removed his sunglasses.

Beckett could feel her stomach clench as his hand cupped her face and she closed her eyes. She could feel her body move closer to him and wasn't quite sure who was giving in. As she felt his hand snake around her neck, she swallowed before feeling his breath against her lips. He closed the distance and brushed his lips across her mouth pressing for an opening.

Feeling the intensity increase, Kate opened to meet Castle with a sudden rush of heat emanating from his tongue. Her body felt as if it was on fire, her face flushed in his hand. She let out a soft moan as the kiss deepened and her body shifted on top of his, straddling him.

Her moans continued as Castle pressed harder into the kiss, balancing Kate over his legs, feeling her knees hug the sides of his hips. Pulling out of the kiss, Castle wrapped one hand behind her neck and another fell to the small of her back. He could feel her small pants. "You ok?" He whispered as she met his intense blue gaze.

With her breath calming, she noticed her hands in his hair but didn't remove them. She hadn't noticed when she ended up on his lap but loved feeling his arm hold in place there. She noticed warmth in places that had been cold for way too long. "Yeah."

Castle eyed her once more until Kate plunged her mouth to his while scraping her nails through his hair, now making him moan for her. She could feel him shifting under her, and she ached for something more to happen. She just wished her brain would turn off, that she could block out all the logical reasons that she shouldn't do this. She had no reason why not to.

Finally pushing out of the kiss, she stared at him, breathless. They were both gasping for air as if they had run a marathon. Kate ran her hand down his five o'clock shadow that he was sporting like when they first met but never left his eyes. She felt like she could see his soul. She was terrified if he could see hers.

"Kate," he choked out finally. They missed the sunset from the darkness that had fallen over the harbor since they first touched that night. She closed her eyes when he tucked her hair behind her ear and ran the back of his hand down her cheek. "It's late."

She could only nod. She felt pressure against her legs and stood up. She followed Castle silently down the steps and then into the main saloon before letting go of her hand. He closed the gap between them, brushed her hair out of the way, and kissed her once more, opening to feel the taste of rum on her before parting. "Goodnight," he whispered as he let go of her hand and headed into the main cabin.

Beckett watched as Castle was closing the door. "Rick."

She called his first name. Pulling the door open again slowly, he met her eyes and saw the tension building on her face. He could see her breathing still hitch and just then realized that the light in the main cabin showed how revealing her dress really was.

"I didn't come all the way across the country to play it safe, which I know you're trying to do for me. And I appreciate it, you being careful and all knowing my feelings, but…"

"Kate," was all he said as held out his hand.

Taking his hand, she closed the door behind them in the main cabin. She stood at the foot of the bed that took up almost the entire space of the room and shivered. She closed her eyes, feeling his hands run up her arms and into her hair. He pulled her to him and kissed her neck. "I want you to know before things get misconstrued that I'm in love with you."

Castle pulled back and held her face in his hands. Her eyes never left his. "I'm falling pretty fast; I just need to make sure you're there to catch me," Kate responded.

"Always," she heard as Castle nodded slowly as he backed her up to the bed and cut the lights. Only the moon and the other harbor lights lit up the cabin as Castle gently laid her down in the pillows.

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_Thanks for the continuous alerts and reviews! _


	4. No Shoes, No Shirt, No Problems

_A/N - Thank you for all the follows and alerts. There are actually 3 chapters after this. I didn't mean for it to go that long, but as long as people are still enjoying it. So I will update all weekend and then once more. Thanks!_

_Notice the image change; shot is from the bar mentioned below. The pic is from a blog called "Write on the Water," which is exactly what it means. People that quit their jobs, buy a boat, and write. _

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Chapter 4 – No Shoes, No Shirt, No Problems

"Good morning," Beckett crawled across the bed and sat on the edge of the bed as Castle handed her a cup of coffee. He glanced at the digital clock and took it as a good sign that she was sleeping until after nine. It had been almost a week since Kate had arrived on the pier. Now he always beat her out of bed and had coffee and breakfast going before she rose.

"Morning. You ready to move today?" Beckett nodded while kicking back the coffee.

The two had spent the last few of days exploring , both hiking and snorkeling. Beckett marveled at the underwater camera that Castle had bought when he first arrived. Uploading the pictures to the computer, she sent a few to Lanie to just prove she was trying to have a good time. She and Castle had laughed at the return, which simply stated, "So have you and Castle?"

They figured the crew in New York could wait a few more days. The anticipation made it even more exciting for them and the crew both. At least they had stopped sending texts making sure the two were ok. "So where are we off today? I can't imagine things getting much better than here."

Castle pulled the map out and showed the plan to Beckett. "There." He pointed at the map and Kate questioned him. "Trust me. I heard something about the place." Beckett rolled her eyes as she disappeared into her cabin. The two had shared the same bed since the first night but Castle's month of supplies made the cabin a little cramped for her liking to dress.

She reappeared and saw Castle up on the deck pulling the anchor up. She had started getting the handle of the process of moving from place to place. They had yet to actually anchor in another harbor since the day they left St. Thomas. She leaned back into the captain's seat and turned the key over. Castle glanced over his tan shoulder in his sunglasses and cap and waved. "You want to turn the boat around, we need to go out the other direction."

Beckett took the wheel and turned, slowly increasing the engines until Castle hopped up to take over. Beckett was the driver when in New York, but had learned quickly that she was not interested in driving the forty-foot floating gas can herself. She laid out on the flybridge with her hair tied back, her own sunglasses that Castle bought her, and floppy hat that matched the bikini that he liked.

She liked her tan lines too, not that they had been laying about on the boat always covered. She giggled slightly to herself thinking of the day she laid out on the flybridge sunning au natural. She remembered the amount of eye rolling she did that day as Castle couldn't keep from touching her.

She watched him. It was strange; now she was the one spending time staring as he worked. Not really worked but as close to work as he would do. She thought again and knew that wasn't true. He had quite a new novel going on the computer. She noticed one night he had snuck out and was sitting on the deck typing away. She knew he had close to one hundred pages down but knew he would share when he was ready.

"Hey," she heard and looked over at the man looking down at her. "Love you."

She couldn't help but smile and answer back, "You too." The words would come easier every time she felt them leave her lips. Internally, she wondered how much of the butterflies in her stomach and the hitch in her breathing was real. She looked out on the water and hoped that she could say the whole thing back. He glanced back at her and grinned with some satisfaction. He knew she would too someday.

XXXXXXXXXXXX

Castle threw the anchor out and watched as it hit the bottom of the sea floor. He heard a splash and knew that Kate had gotten the other one. He grabbed her from behind and heard a small yelp and then laughter as she felt his hands snake around her waist.

The two looked out the starboard side and saw the little hut and groups of plastic chairs that lined the shore. Castle kissed her behind the ear and pulled her ponytail before running up to grab the key to the boat and then a strange little plastic pouch. He saw Kate look at him funny.

"It's a waterproof wallet of sorts." Castle jumped off the back end of the boat and landed in chest deep water and threw his arms up. "Come on."

Kate followed him and felt his arm hold her up slightly until the water got shallow enough for her to have a good footing. As they walked up the shoreline, Castle took her hand in his and glanced in her direction. He had pushed the sunglasses up on his cap and was eyeing the bar. "Soggy Dollar Bar. There's a great band here tonight."

"How do you know?"

"Word of mouth, let's get a table before the place fills up." She followed him to a table and proceeded to sit as he scurried over to the bar and threw some money down. Returning, the massive alcoholic beverage looked like it was just about going to fit the bill. "I ordered some food too," he said right before taking a sip and grabbing his head with an ice cream headache.

The rest of the evening passed too fast for her. The food had arrived just as her buzz was setting in. By the time she had finished the Painkiller, she was good and drunk. She people watched from the bar until Castle grabbed her by the hand and joined the volleyball game. She decided quickly, she was not good at the sport.

Castle hadn't lied about the band either. They sat together on one beach lounger with a couple more drinks and listened to the quiet tinging mixed with guitar rhythms that fit the breezes that were blowing in the area. She leaned back against his chest and glanced up to see his face. Smiling up at him, she closed her eyes as his lips pecked her in temple. She ran her hand up and down his arm wrapped around her. "Do we have to leave?" she said quietly.

"We have to go back to sleep sometime." Castle smirked at the smart-alecky remark.

"No, I just want to stay like this," she turned and admitted. Castle could see the clear seriousness in her statement. Castle leaned closer and kissed her gently on the lips.

"We can, just maybe not as nice of a setting. I don't think I can fit the Caribbean in my living room." Beckett turned around and rolled her eyes as she hit him in the bare chest. "Ow, I got some sunburn woman."

They listened until the band ended after midnight. At some point in the evening, he had finally been spotted by a random fan who had invited them over to a location down the beach. Beckett sat back and listened as Castle answered questions about his writing from the interested set of college students that were mostly drunk. She felt his hand slip from the tips of her fingers and gave her an innocent shrug when one blonde pulled him up to slow dance.

She couldn't be jealous, she told herself. She had to prepare herself for things that would inevitably come up once they returned to the states. She was watching him with a slight evil eye when she felt another hand on her shoulder. She looked up at the person connected to the other hand. Glancing at Castle, he just nodded to go.

The kid, or what she could only picture him as, was bronzer than Rick but way younger and had only what she could describe as an 8-pack. Taking his hand, she suddenly felt strange as if she was cheating but glanced over at Castle who had silent reassurance on his face. "My girlfriend and I had a deal. She wanted to dance with him, but I think I got the better end of the deal." Beckett blushed at the thought of the college student hitting on her.

The two finally made their way back to the cabin for the night. She laid in bed and was reading as Castle propped himself up on one arm. "About earlier, I know what you meant." He took her loose hand in his and intertwined her fingers in his. "And I totally plan on us staying just like this." She gazed up at him, set her book down, and pulled him down to her into a searing kiss. She welcomes his deepening of the kiss as she run her hand up his arm, now flexed on the other side of her to keep him from falling. She felt him break out of the kiss and gaze at her. "What?"

"I like the way your hair falls when you lean over. It's so different than how you wear it normally." Castle's brow furrowed in laughable confusion. He hmphed in response and then closed his eyes as her hand ran up the side of his arm.

"How?"

Castle looked back down in to her eyes and then sat up, leaning on his palm again. "What do you mean?"

"Staying like this? Everyone's going to make a thing of it." Castle rolled his head and eyes in understand. Taking her hand in his other, he just smiled.

"We're going to make it work. It'll be the same, but different. Just believe that," he lowered himself to her and kissed her bare shoulder. "I" Kissed her collarbone. "will" Kissed her neck. "always" Kissed her temple. "love" Kissed her nose. "you." Kissed her lips chastely and then gazed down at her. She still had a look that he couldn't quite get a handle on. "What?"

"What happened with you and Gina?" And then it all made sense to him. She was seeing herself as the rebound girl. Down deep Castle had been wondering when the shoe was going to drop on the week and he heard it crash in the one question.

Beckett saw him stiffen and sat up just as quickly as he did, watching as he was shifting from her side. Putting out her hand, she clasped his wrist in her fingers and stared at him. He turned and put one hand on her face. "You are no rebound. I wanted you to go to the Hamptons first; I wanted to give us a chance first. Gina and I never …" He paused. "We shared a bed, but I couldn't. Not with you in my head, and by the third night, I was sleeping in the guest room. When I couldn't get her out of the house and you out of my head, I locked myself in the room and finished Nikki Heat and then picked the best way to lose both of you for awhile."

Castle was now up pacing in his underwear back and forth in the little cabin while Beckett had the sheet pulled up over her knees and torso. The look of desperation on his face told her that he was first telling the truth and second that she knew exactly why she had fallen for him. "Rick I didn't mean it like that. I trust you; you have never given me a reason to not. I just asked."

He looked back at her as she outstretched a hand in his direction. He took her hand but stood there a bit longer. "When did you know that you were ready to give us a shot?"

Beckett leaned back against the pillows as Castle sat carefully down next to her as if he was afraid of her. She pulled her knees up into her and stared at the wall in front of her. "When I realized that you weren't coming back at the end of the summer. That look you gave me wasn't a see you next fall look." She glanced in his direction. She saw his eyes close and then glance in her direction in agreement. "So why the sudden change of heart?"

Castle leaned back next to her and pulled her up into him. She could feel the heat that swelled in her as her shoulder brushed his bare chest. She had never imagined that she could feel so tied to one person. "Third time asking was a charm?" The two stayed silent for a long time before lowering themselves comfortably back in the bed.

Kate turned away from Castle but he didn't seem to care. He had learned over the last few nights that she slept facing the same direction and it had nothing to do with him. He put his arm around her and felt her wrap his arm into hers. "I think so," she whispered as she closed her eyes. She couldn't see him but Castle's chest hitched his breath wondering if her remark meant the same thing as he was thinking.


	5. Seven Days

_A/N - As promised, here is another chapter tonight and will have two more the next couple of days. Thanks for the continued reading!_

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Chapter 5 – Seven Days

The two continued onto Anegada over the next few days. After the strange conversation the few nights before, they had fallen into a more comfortable rhythm. Spending most of the time on board discussing different cases that Castle had missed since he was gone, he wondered if he wanted to maybe go back to the precinct. He thought what Alexis and Martha would have to say about his return and if Kate would even want him knowing their new dynamic. He was watching the waves and the top of the rod when he felt her arms snake around his neck. Kissing her arm lightly before she let go, she sat down next to him and saw his look.

"Whatcha thinking about?"

He glanced over and raised his one suspicious eyebrow at her. She shook her head like she always had at him when he looked at her like that. "Whether to go back to the precinct."

She handed him a beer and popped her own. "You're thinking of not coming back still? Not that I don't understand."

"I just don't want us to get sick of each other. I already saw how working with someone I'm involved with works and it doesn't so well."

Kate leaned back as she took two more swigs of the beer and gave him the eye. "Did you honestly just compare our relationship right now to Gina?" He thought about it. He glanced at her and then agreed.

"Nothing alike. If you want me back is all I'm saying." He looked in her direction but held up his hand to be quiet before reaching out for her beer and set it to the side. He silently called her over. "Put one hand there and when you see it…"

She whispered as she steadied her hands in front of the pole, "I've fished Castle." He heard his last name for the first time in forever. He sat back, throwing up his hands, and silently watched as the pole's end dipped again and then made it's move. Beckett grabbed the pole, first snagging the line and then started reeling. The pole continued to dip as Beckett almost lost her footing. She felt something attach to her and knew Castle was holding her in place.

After another few minutes of fighting the line Castle saw the fish's body and leaned over the side of the boat, scooping the net around the tarpon and pulled it onto the boat. He saw the grin on Beckett's face and pulled the equipment out of his store tackle. "Ok Detective, you're so smart. Here." Kate held out her hand and saw the pliers and knife. She glared at him as Castle crossed his arms. "You said you could fish. This is part of it." He sat back in the chair and tried not to howl in laughter watching the fish flop around on the deck. He finally stood up and stepped on its body. "Now, take out the hook. We'll throw him in the well until later."

"You could have just told me to do that," she commented irritatingly.

"Yeah, but that wouldn't have been as much fun." Castle was still laughing as Beckett picked up the fish and dumped it into the open live well.

XXXXXXXXXXXX

That night came the rain after dinner. The two pulled the door closed and found themselves playing penny ante poker and then a very involved truth or dare. They listened to each others' stories and talked about work as they heard the rain pelting against the upper decks for another day. Kate finally understood the real Castle after those twenty-four hours.

The two had also finally traversed some of her walls, either by Castle's forcing the issue knowing she couldn't run or by choice. The two had tread carefully before but things were all out in the open now. She appreciated Castle holding her as she relived the memories of dragging her father out of the bars wasted and the nightmares that she had of her mother. She hadn't had any nightmares since she had arrived and that made her heart swell that he could do that for her.

She found out though she wasn't the only one with demons. Castle had really explained the situations with his exes, how he was always terrified to get involved after Meredith's betrayal and Gina's flying off the handle. He explained that was the reason for needing Kate; she was grounded and real. And his biggest ghost of never knowing his father. Kate had offered to try to find something, but Castle said it would happen if it was meant to be. It was what they had needed for two years, just time to be themselves.

Kate had also decided to fire off a couple of emails, including one to Lanie.

_Hey girl. Things are great. I caught my first fish yesterday and Castle spent most of the night laughing at me about it. Things are going well in that department too and that's all you get right now. Tell the boys and the captain hey for me. I'll be running a few days late, but I'll let Montgomery know. Pics attached. Yes, I enclosed the one you really want to see._

_Kate_

She attached the picture taken in Jost Van Dyke. It was her favorite picture of them, maybe because it was the only that hadn't been posed or her with her hair gross from the salt water. She felt natural in the shot the college kids got as she and Castle had danced to the band. She felt Castle lean over her shoulder. "Yeah, that'll get her going," he commented before stealing a kiss and disappearing below deck.

With a one night stay in Anegada, they had procured enough time with a WIFI connection to make sure everyone knew that they were still alive and well. Castle had spent almost an hour explaining himself to Martha and Alexis over the phone, reassuring them he was finally ok. When Kate had finally leaned in to say hi to Martha, he heard his mother sigh and comment, "finally."

Then he sent an email off explaining the situation that had caused his disappearance from the Hamptons to Gina. He felt Kate crawl up on the hotel bed behind him as he typed. She read over his shoulder and felt a strange jealousy. She knew that there would always be a strange attachment between the two.

_I'll be back in a week or so. I'm not sure whom you have spoken to or if you have even cared past getting revisions of the manuscript done. I'm sorry I led you on. I was confused and wasn't thinking. After a lot of thought and some convincing, I've found what I wanted. I'll tell you more when I get back but I just want you to be prepared. After the three-book contract for Nikki is complete, I'll be dropping Black Pawn. _

Castle stopped typing and stared at the short, terse email that explained less and caused more questions. He closed his eyes. Gina had already been different than Meredith. Gina had always been that fallback plan that hung on…until now. He felt a soft kiss on his shoulder and then her hands moved lightly across his shoulders and left completely. He gazed at Kate as she opened the door. She pursed her lips together and took a deep breath knowing that he needed some time to finish it completely.

He had found her about an hour later on a lounger looking out at the boat anchored decently close to the shore. He sat down in the lounger next to her, taking her hand in his and meeting her eyes. "You ok?"

"Perfect," he answered quietly before picking up the drink that the waiter had set down on the table between them. "You know, I was thinking about stretching our legs today. Let's go into town and check out a couple of the shops. I haven't been trinket shopping yet."

Beckett raised an eyebrow but sat up and downed her drink. She would be feeling that later. She stood up and put her hand out to pick up Castle. They talked to the waiter and decided that the ninety-minute walk was easy enough to do and arranged a ride back in the evening.

The two stopped in a little shop and returned several hours later with more trinkets than Beckett had in her entire apartment. "You do realize there are other places to shop in the islands?"

"Yeah, but these were fun," he said in his whiny tone that she got used to. He had bought everyone the local toy and proceeded to play with one as Kate tried to pack the rest of the souvenirs in bags.

XXXXXXXXX

"I can't believe that we only have fours days left. I don't think I'll ever be able to get my head back into work after this," Beckett said as she leaned against Castle walking through the main town back on Tortola. The yacht rental was up, but he had preplanned for a few days in the city. When he had first arrived, it was going to be a pub crawl nightly to drown his sorrow. He loved the way things had changed in the last two weeks.

"Wait," Beckett released his hand and started into one of the shops and spied something. Castle grinned and looked up at the sky, thanking the heavens.

"So, you find something?" He asked when he walked up behind her and stared into the same glass counter as she did.

"That's a pretty set." The man who sat behind the counter saw Castle nod and opened the case, handing Kate the pieces in the set. She glanced over at Castle to seek his approval. She set it back down on the glass counter and bit on her thumb nail. It was a month's paycheck.

She continued to play with the pieces while silently thinking about it. Before she could stop him, Castle handed the man a credit card and then pointed out one other item in the case and met her eyes. "Castle," she warned.

He didn't say anything but quickly swiped the receipt to sign and his card before handing Beckett the small bag and walking out the door, leaving her standing in the store with her purchase completely stunned. It was the first time he had purchased more than a couple of drinks or coffee for her the entire trip.

"Castle, you didn't have to do that."

"Yes, I did," he pushed the bag back to her. "You wouldn't have bought it for yourself, not that you should have anyway. Besides, I got me something too." She let the conversation drop realizing that he had a point and they were a couple now. She was with Richard Castle; she should just be happy he hadn't opted for something more extravagant.

The two continued walking through the streets of Road Town, but stopped and stared at each other. Two weeks together had been more than they thought either one could stand but both had grown. Kate grew to enjoy the lighter side of Castle, especially away from the job while Castle knew that sometimes maturity wasn't overrated.

They had actually discussed it a couple nights before. Not so much a discussion but a quick and quiet sentiment that Castle let slip as they were drinking on the deck at night. Kate lowered her head and then looked at the sign remembering the conversation. Even with Castle's slip, she hadn't hedged from the thought. In fact, she had opened it for more discussion, not sure if she let the thought continue because of the alcohol or because she really thought it could work.

Now, they just stared at each other in the middle of the street until they heard a car honk. Turning, Castle pulled her up on the curb. "About night before last…so?" Kate just bit her lip and grinned before agreeing.

XXXXXXXXXXXX

Kate stepped off the airplane and sighed as she looked around. With the airport's problem back on Tortola, she had to take a different flight and had to leave him behind. She pulled out her phone and speed dialed his number while walking to the baggage claim.

"Hey, I guess you landed." Castle sounded sad. She knew his flight wasn't until the next morning. She knew that Monday would come soon enough; the first time she would see him again.

"Yeah," she choked out. "This just feels so weird. I feel alone." She sat down in the chairs by the baggage claim and tried to fight the tears welling up in her eyes. She had never been this unglued about anyone like this.

"You're not alone. Call my family or Lanie tonight. Then call me before you goto bed." She silently nodded as if he could tell that she was.

"My bag's coming out. I have to go," she stumbled through her small sobs. She jumped up and grabbed the bag before spotting Lanie. Quickly she started wiping her face knowing her eyes wouldn't lie. "Lanie's here Rick. Love you," she quickly said before Lanie was in earshot.

Castle's breath hitched at hearing it. That was the third time and he hoped it was really going to be their lucky number. "Love you too, tell Lanie hi for me. See you on Monday. Try to tell the dead no earlier than six." He heard her giggle slightly before the line went dead.

"Girl, I have missed you," Lanie hugged Beckett and then stepped back. "So I guess we're going to have to knock before getting things out of the supply closet at the precinct?"

Kate nodded and laughed as they headed out to the car. "No, we've had a lot of time to talk about boundaries and rules."

"Well, I'm sure you had time to do some other things too." Kate just dropped her bag in front of the Lanie's trunk and glared at her before breaking into a full grin.


	6. You Save Me

_A/N - The last two chapters will be a little shorter, but here's the first. Will try to get the last one up later this week._

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Chapter 6 – You Save Me

Beckett glanced up from the body that had dropped half an hour earlier and saw him walking up with the normal coffee cup. The two both bit down on their lips trying not to smile like lovesick school kids. "Hey," he whispered as she took her cup.

"Hey." She cut him off and both of them fell into a comfortable work mode. Since returning a little over a month earlier, Lanie and the boys had all figured it out. And after the first couple of days of ribbing from the precinct, things actually cooled down.

"Hey Castle," Lanie smirked knowingly before climbing off the ladder. "Anyway, it wasn't the fall that killed her. More like multiple gunshot wounds to the torso before doing a Greg Louganis out that window there."

Castle traded nods with Ryan and Esposito before inspecting the body from underneath. "The victim's name is Chloe Whitman. Pedestrians heard shots and saw the body fall out the window, but when uniforms got here the apartment was empty. There's no doorman on duty, so no one recalls anyone fleeing the scene."

Beckett looked at Esposito and the woman's face. "Alright then have uniforms start knocking on doors. Find out what else our neighbors didn't see."

"Hey, it's Castle, Castle." Ryan pointed at the bookstore front where the man was putting out the display for the book that he finished in the Hamptons.

Castle waved at the man in the window who looked surprised that the author was actually there. Castle turned as the three stood there watching him look at himself. "I need to redo that shot." He curled up his lip at the sign for his appearance went up. He saw Beckett's face and immediately covered his mouth. "How about a late dinner that night?" She rolled her eyes as she noticed Lanie's inquiring look.

XXXXXXXXXXXX

The two continued to share stolen moments in the precinct along with dodging the media rags when out on the town or during higher profile cases. Although not specifically told, Kate and Rick tried to keep their romance low key around the office. But Castle knew he had to see her more than at just work, if for nothing else they just belonged together. Then he pictured life without him there.

Castle sat and stared at the pool, still having problems regaining his mental stability. Watching 3XK pointing a gun at his head, he tried to keep calm but only thought about his family before his breathing calmed as Jerry left the room. He knew what finally had to be done. He looked down at their hands intertwined and then back up in her eyes. It wasn't in his plan this way, but it was their next logical step.

"Move in with me. Let's just make it happen now." Castle turned and saw Kate bite down on her lower lip before sighing and agreeing.

Gazing up in his eyes, she continued to nod in agreement. "I saw my life without you today and I just can't go through that. Besides, we've given it enough time."

"Yeah, I think three months was long enough." Castle wrapped his arm around her and pulled her into him as more sirens worked their way from the hotel crime scene.

Lanie had squealed like a little girl when Beckett told her about the plans for over the Halloween weekend. Kate and Castle watched that weekend as the boys, Lanie, Alexis, and his mother had worked overenthusiastically to move her in. Castle and Kate sat back on the couch on that first night alone in their loft and smiled at each other knowing that everything was going the way they had planned. At least now they would wake up together every morning without one of them having to go home first.

Christmas had been one of the first that Kate had taken off by choice. After initially arguing with Castle about his taking over the plans, she gave in and relented, knowing his plans would be wonderful. The week in upstate New York with the Castle clan and her father had been one of the few holidays in recent memory that Kate enjoyed, and for more than one reason.

Then his long time friend and supporter had been implicated in a murder. The week at home was difficult to say the least. He was pretty sure that halfway through the investigation that Kate would start looking at new places. Eventually he knew Kate was right and had to quit blaming her for his friend's unpleasant past. "Show me a hero and I'll write you a tragedy. F. Scott Fitzgerald said that."

"I'm must have been Ernest Hemingway who said man, I could sure use a drink right about now." Castle turned and gazed over at Kate. It wasn't her case anymore, but they had fought. He didn't want to think about it, the slamming doors that occurred during the time of the case. Even Alexis had tried to intervene without any luck.

"Lead the way, I'm buying." Castle glanced over at her and eyed her questioningly. They hadn't really made up, hadn't really even discussed the fact they had their first fight. The smile that cracked across Kate's face, though, silently told him it was over.

"It's Valentine's Day," Castle reminded her.

She looked up at him and bumped him in the arm. "Yeah, so where is it?" Castle stopped her on the sidewalk and stared down at her. "C'mon Rick. It was planned."

Kate felt his hand go into hers as they left the bar later and went back toward the loft. The night was still young and she wondered what was going on in Castle's head. After her mention of what she felt was inevitable, she was now not so sure.

And completely unlike Rick Castle of old, Kate was surprised when they spent the rest of the evening at home around a cozy dinner, taking turns reading over his newest novel's draft, just to have a ring pop out of one of the last passages.

Kate felt that she finally fit into someone's world again. She admitted that the book premiere parties were overdone, the interviews when his publicist admitted to their relationship publically were unnecessary, but it hadn't changed him. He had done everything in his power to keep her job out of the business and make their relationship just about them from the moment she had stepped on the plane back in July.

Kate realized how much she was now treasuring that other half of her. Spending several hours as a Ziplocked package, the two actually had found solace in their alone time. When she got worried, Castle would just pull out his favorite memory from the islands. Kate would come up with stories that she hadn't told him about her mother. They would laugh about their little secret from the rest of the world.

If it hadn't been bad enough, he stared at Beckett with not an idea in his head to how they were going to survive this one. When she shot at the steel door, he knew they were in a dire position.

"Castle, I could use a silver lining right about now."

His first thought was that he would at least be dying with the woman that loved him. It wasn't exactly what he wanted but considering the situation he had to look on the bright side of something. He glanced at her, now both shivering, and couldn't find any solace.

They had finally become tired from the cold and slid against the ice covered walls and say close trying to conserve body heat. "I can't feel anything Rick. I always thought that being a cop, I would take a bullet, not freeze to death."

Castle closed his eyes at the thought, although considering the situation they were in now, he wasn't sure what would be worse. "We're not dead yet."

"Tell me something," she tried to turn into his chest, but nothing was warm anymore.

Castle thought about what he could say. He pulled her into him a bit closer and whispered. "Remember when you left your shoes on the boat and then we got to the beach and you had to go. You screamed bloody murder as you ran across the sand to the trees because the sand was so hot."

He felt her laugh slightly in his arms "I remember the day you forgot sunscreen and turned into a big cherry. You laid on top of the sheets and begged me not to touch you." Her voice and breath hitched in between sentences, but it seemed to feel warmer from the visualizations. But it couldn't last forever.

After another long silence, he felt her adjust closer to him. She was starting to shake even more in his hand. "I wish this was one of your books that you could rewrite the ending." Castle closed his eyes as her head fell against his chest and he felt her take another large breath. "I love you."

She fell into a cold slumber in his arms after telling him she loved him. He thought he would rather die with her than live without her as he saw the ice form on the diamond on her finger. The thought occurred to him again much sooner than he thought as he pulled the wires of the bomb in the middle of the New York street. When he spun her around and kissed her, he wasn't the only one crying tears of joy when the boys showed up.

Then his world fell apart.


	7. Always Gonna Be You

_A/N - Thanks for reading. This is the last chapter. I wanted to leave it this way to make it an easy end. Enjoy!_

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Chapter 7 – Always Gonna Be You

"Captain Montgomery once said to me that for us there is no victory, there are only battles. And in the end the best you could hope for is to find a place to make your stand. And if you're very lucky, you find someone willing to make that stand with you." Kate stopped and glanced at Castle out of the corner of her eye. Sitting in front of his mother and daughter at the end of the first row, he nodded in acknowledgement.

"Our captain would want us to carry on the fight. And even if there is…" And a whizz just before she paused. Castle could just hear screaming as Kate's body slumped to the ground. He fought against the hands holding his jacket as he ran across the grass and fell to the ground next to her. His hand went under her neck and his body shielding her.

The crowd scattered and Castle could hear the strangle of screams and cries from the crowd that ran in all directions. Uniforms running toward where the shots were fired, Jim Beckett toward his daughter, Ryan holding back Martha and Alexis.

"Kate, I love you," Castle was out of words. She was bleeding out on his hands. He felt someone up behind him before sliding off to the side of her body.

"Pressure," he heard quietly as Kate's eyes rolled into the back of her head and she tried to refocus on him. He looked up at Lanie as she nodded.

"Take your jacket off, ball it up and press it against the wound and apply pressure, enough to not hurt her more." She glanced back at Kate as she snapped her fingers in front of Kate's face. "Hey girl, stay with me. Ambulance is on their way. Your dad is right behind you."

Kate tried to move her head and her father knelt down and held it in place as she felt the pressure against her chest from Castle. She gazed up at him. "I love you Rick."

"Honey…Kate don't talk." Her gaze slipped from him and then she stared past him.

"Lanie?" Castle looked concerned.

The ME turned from talking to a uniform on the phone with emergency services. Lanie watched as Kate's eyes seemed to swim from one person to another with no focus. "She's going to go into shock." Lanie turned and started screaming some directions at a uniform cop. "Kate, stay with us honey," she begged repeatedly.

They all watched as Kate's eyes refocused on Castle. Lanie eyed Castle as he continued to apply pressure gently with one hand while holding her hand with the other.

"It's ok Castle," Beckett whispered as her eyes closed again just before the ambulance pulled up.

They all backed off when the paramedics arrived, Castle's jacket not removed for fear of excessive bleeding. Castle stood back next to Jim and his own family as Lanie spoke to one of the paramedics. She walked over and took Castle's hand, squirting something into them and handing him a towel. "I'm going. I'll meet you all there." Lanie eyed Jim and Castle relented.

The two headed to the car in silence, Jim trying to keep Castle from continuing to look behind him as the paramedics were readying Kate for the ambulance.

The two continued on in silence until they were on the freeway. "So son, who else knows," Jim asked as Castle stared off out of the car window.

Castle nodded his head. "You, mother and Alexis." He turned and saw Jim just silently glance in his direction before following the ambulance off the interstate.

XXXXXXXXX

"Katherine Beckett?" The doctor stood outside the doorway to the OR and watched as several eyes met his. "The family of Katherine Beckett."

Jim looked over at Castle and got up to meet the doctor before seeing Castle also stand up silently behind him. "Yes?"

Castle took two more steps forward, still staying behind Jim and generally out of the way. He didn't know if he could really do it, even though she had told him.

"Your daughter is out of surgery. However, during the surgery, she experienced cardiac arrest. Now we were able to get her heart beating again on its own but we'll need to watch her very closely."

"When can we see her?" Jim asked.

"Once the nurses get her settled, we'll bring family back to her. The rest of you should head home and get some rest," the doctor commented as he started away. Castle immediately heard the boys talking about going back to the precinct and taking Lanie home.

"You coming Castle?"

"No," he shook his head as Lanie put her arm around him.

"Castle, I know that you mean well, but she needs rest and her dad's here. We'll all see her when she's a little more recovered. Come on. You need it too." Castle looked at Lanie and then at his family and shook his head emphatically.

It was just a whisper. Castle picked at his nails that still had dried blood underneath and stared at the ground. "I can't leave my wife."

Lanie glanced shockingly at the rest of the Castle clan who didn't look quite as surprised, just as calm as Jim Beckett. "Bro?" Esposito stuttered.

"We got married last July right before she left. The whole moving in together and engagement was just a ruse." He huffed. "Did we win the pot?" he tried to joke referring to the pool in the precinct for the exact wedding date. He felt Lanie squeeze his knee and glare at him.

"We'll talk about this later, but tell her to get better for us." He nodded and hugged her before doing the same to his family, leaving him and Jim to wait on Kate.

XXXXXXXXXXXX

Castle entered the room quietly almost twelve hours after the nurses had Kate set up. He had let her father spend the majority of the time with her. He came around the corner and saw Kate's hand in her dad's and felt his heart warm. He had seen that look between father and daughter more than once. He saw Kate's eyes shift up and his smile grew. He saw Jim turn back behind him and pulled from Kate's hand.

"You two need some time." Castle put his hand out as Jim rose from the chair and shook his head. Jim continued to pass the chair to Castle and the patted him on the shoulder. Castle sat down silently and took the same hand that Jim had previously.

"How do you feel?" he asked, knowing that anything more than one word answers would be difficult for her. They both glanced as her father slipped out for what Castle could only suspect was another cup of coffee.

"Like I was shot," Kate joked quietly and Castle could see her try to smile without hurting herself.

"Don't joke. You coded on the way here and then in surgery; I don't think I could have taken being a widow." Castle leaned closer and took her hand in both of his, kissing it carefully to avoid the tubes that still surrounded her. "I had to blow our cover to get here."

Kate nodded her head and swallowed. Castle could see the extra effort it took for her to just a good solid breath and to swallow. It was going to be a long recovery, but he already was working on getting the best home health nurse and rehabist. She was going to recover better than ever.

"Dad said. It's ok." Kate took another breath and closed her eyes, concentrating on the breath. "How was Lanie?"

"She was scared beyond anything I have ever seen. They all were. We're going to catch this guy and everyone else involved." Kate's eyes met his and she shook her head slowly. "But I want you better first. I was reading some things. I think you'll probably be up walking around in a few days, or they'll want you to." He just saw her eyes roll back in her head as he could tell she was getting tired. He let go of her hand and tilted the uncomfortable recliner back and closed his eyes. He hadn't slept for at least 40 hours, and it didn't take long to finally feel safe enough next to Kate to lapse into slumber.

The next ten days went by in a blur, much more quickly than Kate had anticipated. After finding sleep for almost fifteen hours straight, she woke to both her father and Castle sharing something that smelled sinfully delicious. She found that Castle could apparently charm anyone and was able to bring in food for them. Unfortunately that charm ended at her required hospital menu. Castle snuck her nibbles here and there as the staff finally moved her into a regular room three days after the tragedy.

Then came the gang. They had explained the first day they could see her about the shooting and the lack of evidence. Castle could see the anguish on her face that nothing was getting solved but she knew that it wasn't for the lack of trying.

Finally having the strength to sit up and have a full conversation, Kate signaled for the barrage of questions to begin. She motioned for Castle's presence at her end of the bed. He was going to have to field some of them. "So what made you, Kate Beckett, I'm in control of every detail of my life and can't make a leap of faith, do it?"

Kate and Castle shook their heads as Castle rubbed his temples in mocking irritation. Kate glanced up at Castle. "You know we never really analyzed why. I guess you spend two weeks every day all day with the same person in that close of quarters, we knew everything about each other. Kind of got all the dating Q&A crap out of the way."

Lanie continued to glare at her girl and turned her head to the side. "And how much were you drinking when you did this?"

Castle squeezed Kate's hand. "None. We had to apply and then wait three days, so we had time to think about it."

"I just can't believe you were able to hide it from everyone, even the media Bro," Esposito said as he leaned against the far wall.

"Paula helped a bit by watching for feelers, but she had the idea that we needed to ease into the 'relationship' for the press' sake because everyone knew we were together as soon as the fall started." Castle stopped and glanced back at Kate. "Speaking of, I have a meeting and then I gotta get Alexis. I'll see you tonight?"

The two seemed to forget about the crowd in the room as Kate gazed up at him. "Stay home tonight. Relax, I'm good here." Castle nodded as he leaned in to kiss her. What had seemed such a huge figment of his imagination just a year earlier was now commonplace, so much so the audience in the room didn't even eww and ahh anymore. He pulled from her and went out the door. Kate glanced back over in the direction of her gang and continued her conversation until that evening.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Castle and Beckett stood at the end of the pier in front of the monstrosity that was their vacation slash rehab time that Beckett had been given for the summer. The thing behind them was insanely huge, about as big as his ego sometimes. But it had been what they had planned on. Kate glanced over her shoulder again and shook her head. The Amarula Sun was a year old 130 foot yacht that was going to sail them around the same islands as the summer before. She was just glad that Castle had to let the crew work this one.

"WHOA!"

"DUDE!" Castle and Kate both laughed as Ryan and Jenny along with Esposito and Lanie started down the pier from the parking lot. The two hugged their friends and pointed out the champagne that had already been set out on the pier by the crew.

"You weren't kidding on the phone Beckett," Esposito commented as he chugged back the beverage and handed his bags to the crew members that had appeared.

Lanie hugged Kate and then glanced up on the main deck. Waving from the deck, Martha had already hit the bar inside that was well stocked and held up her drink as Alexis waved at everyone. Kate glanced back and silently acknowledged her father who held his well made raspberry iced tea.

"So Castle, how much did this set you back?" Ryan asked.

"Nope. He's not saying except that he still paid less for all four days than his first two weddings," Kate answered as she wrapped her around Castle's waist and pulled herself carefully into him, avoiding her scar on her side that was still tender.

Lanie looked back from the entrance to the yacht and shook her head at the view and the yacht itself. "So what's the day again?"

"Day after tomorrow. We're going to take it out to a couple of the places we liked and anchor at the dock tomorrow night before moving into Tortola for the ceremony and then back here the next day." The group all looked at the map and gestured that whatever was fine with them.

"Hell, we could stay parked here for all I care Castle; I haven't had a vacation in years." Esposito held out his hand for Lanie and Castle bumped Ryan in the arm.

"What about them?"

"Not sure; see how the weekend goes." Ryan responded in response to Castle's question on Esposito and Lanie. The group of four, including Kate, Ryan and Jenny laughed as they followed Esposito and Lanie up to the deck.

Castle slightly pulled on Kate's hand and motioned him to follow her. The others noticed silently as the two walked off toward the front of the yacht and stopped just out of sight from the rest of them. Pulling her into him, he cupped her face in his palm and pressed his lips against hers, causing her to gasp. He liked that he could still make her shiver in his arms when he did that.

She pulled out of the kiss and gazed up at him, "You know I love you, despite your insane ability to toss money around." She rolled her eyes but still locked her hands around his waist.

"Just consider this a trade off. My book's paying for it." Kate shook her head. His new publishing company took him, his pseudonym, and the novel from the year before. The novel was the newest runaway romantic adventure to hit the shelves and Kate knew Castle was almost mortified by the thought he could be a romance novelist. After staring at her and hearing the engines starting up, he kissed her on the lips one last time. "Come on, we've got guests."

Smiling, she took his hand and sighed as they headed back to the group. She loved feeling her finger rub against the wedding band that he was finally able to wear. It had been quite a year, ups and downs but third time was a charm.


End file.
